“But I’m Telling You I Killed” Directed by Robert Cividanes
the words
are
so
strange
that even i
cant understand them.
they’re strange,
because i don’t say them
and nobody else says them
its the voice
inside my head
who says those
strange words
and i listen
and i comprehend
and those
strange words
are suddenly mine
and then i can see
the monster
that i’ve become.
I knew we had surely fallen apart
Since that day, I’ve been alone
No friends or no one as my own
How’d I know you’d throw me away?
Never say “Goodbye,” or even say, “Hey”?
I wake up to realize the past was just fake
The ones who used to love me aren’t even here today
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Love you all,
The Pigeon Staff
I long for something constant in my life A first call every morning A familiar body lying next to me at night I find comfort in intimacy And discomfort in casualness I need the hidden relief that’s found in stability Only the constant truly makes sense I prefer the known rather than the unknown My life has no need for surprise or fabrication I need what’s real I need truth I need the unvarying presence of someone like you Reality has a funny way of appearing to be real Often times it is not But despair can never be confused with delight Or can it? Can a woman find true pleasure in a different man every night? Or should a woman find one man who gives her true pleasure throughout her life? I seek the joy of something that lasts forever Or at least something that lasts We go through hell in life In return you receive a vision of heaven A truth that is only found in your heart Only one person in this world shares that vision The irony of it all is that you must search for that one My search is never-ending Mistaking men in love with ones who are pretending The most constant presence in my life has been me I lead a lonely life filled with inconsistency But someday soon I will find my forever My piece of heaven will be found in his eyes He will be everything I dreamed he would be He will fill my life with consistency
Oh! the silver moon,
reflecting in the dead lake,
awakens the night
resurrects the woods,
the darkness rises once more.
How the crickets sing!
Damp beneath my feet -
bare and naked footprints left.
Dry leaves hide my path.
My chambre robes, white,
loose around my wood-bruised knees,
fly in the night’s wind.
I twirl in the dark,
the night is my only light,
the shadows join me.
A dip in the lake,
my pulse is a tsunami
destroying the moon.
A sparkling ray
drives my soul away, kills me
along with the night.
Oh! the silver moon,
reflecting in the dead lake
slowly dies away…


